Having worked in all kinds of environments and cultures, I am constantly fascinated by the comments I see from guests about their hotel stay.

Here are some odds and ends from the daily routine of a typical resort operation – unbelievably, they are all real comments!

The weather: – “your brochure sells sunshine. I have been here for 7 days and all I have had was clouds and rain…will ask my travel agent for a refund upon return”.

The sea: – “The temperature on your notice board says 24 degrees and this morning I checked, and it was only 23 degrees” (a tourist travelling with his own thermometer?).

The complimentary fruit basket: – “While I appreciated the complimentary fruit basket, I would have been equally happy with a bottle of Champagne”.

The pool sunbed: – “You have too many German tourists in your hotel; they put towels on lounge beds by 5am! I had no option but to take away some towels to put mine down, so when I finish breakfast at 8am, I can get a lounge chair”.

The buffet table: –  “your buffet says all you can eat, but the BBQ lobster was limited to 2 per person”.

The wine list: – “I can buy a case of wine for the price you charge for one bottle! That very same bottle I paid $48 for, I can buy in Australia for $8. Not surprising you all make lots of money – a bloody rip-off…”.

The beer on tap: – “Beer in Australia is cheaper and tastes better!”.

The bathrobe: – “The quality of your bathrobe is inferior – not worth taking home…”.

Dog holiday: – “One guest asked for a refund because the dog didn’t enjoy the stay and was grumpy throughout the duration of visit”.

The ashtray: – “What happened to your ashtrays? I’m not a smoker but a collector…”.

Christmas day brunch: – “My son was very unhappy he didn’t get his bicycle from Santa. Your lobby poster says your dreams will come true while staying with us!”.

Room selection: – “My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked”.

Central London hotel: – “The Hotel had no ocean view” (in Mayfair, Central London).

A room with a view: – “The waves are too loud in the sea view room!”.

Serviced apartment life: – “Although the brochure said that there was a fully-equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawer!”

I’m sure there are many more memorable comments and requests from guests who really think the manager of a resort operation oversees everything, including the weather and quality of beer.

Hopefully, one day someone writes a book recording all the experiences and insider stories of the real life of a hotel. Please add your favourite guest feedback/stories in the comments.

Other recommended reading: Waldorf Hysteria  http://arbonpublishing.com/product/waldorf-hysteria/

About the author

Karl Faux is a veteran Hotelier and Managing Partner with Elite Search – a leading hospitality recruitment firm.
For more information about Karl and Elite Search visit http://www.elitesearch.com.au and The Elite Hotelier http://www.elitehotelier.net